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About the Project:

A Story of Obsession, Experience, and Acceptance

The Intent

James is 71 years old. He has reached the season of life where one begins to look back—not just at the milestones, but at the shadows, the obsessions, and the quiet encounters that define a human journey. This site is his legacy project: an unvarnished archive of a life lived across two countries, several careers, and many versions of himself.

The goal is simple: to leave a record that remains when he has gone. A story that doesn't just list dates and places, but captures the feeling of a life in motion.

But it must be stated from the outset that this is not a full life story. For James is the Mr Hyde of another individual who will remain anonymous and whose story may be told elsewhere. But James lived through all the events of that other life and his obsession indeed led the Dr Jekyll life in directions that made it more difficult.


The Journey

His story begins in 1954 when he was born in a small town in Bedfordshire in England. He cannot recall much about his early years. He attended infant and primary school, needed glasses when he was seven and he was found to be extremely intelligent with excellent recall. There is no doubt that today he would be diagnosed with ADHD or even Asperbers. Back in the day he was just odd!

My story begins in the mid-1960s, in the mist of Scotland. Three years in a large town in the central belt and then a year in the far north, the home of his mother. Those formative years (1965–1969) were a time of "Highland" discovery—looking at girls in lessons, a first kiss at a school disco and the sudden, sharp interruptions of parental decisions. At the age of 14, still physically immature he had to give up the school and life he knew to move to an isolated house in the north of Scotland. Then as he was settling here and had his second kiss, his family moved to the far West Country of England.

From the north, the narrative shifts to forty years in the English West Country. For decades, his world was defined by the deep, rewarding, and often exhausting work of special education. But life has a way of breaking us to remake us. At 54, a breakdown forced a reckoning, leading to eighteen years of a different kind of intensity—an obsession with physical vitality and the pursuit of connection—until a major operation two years ago brought the ultimate clarity: my own mortality.

What you find here is the result of that clarity. It is a journey from the "minor and major encounters" of my youth to a hard-won state of acceptance.


A Modern Archive: How This Story is Told

To bring these memories to life in 2026, I have chosen to use the "pencils and brushes" of our time. This project is a collaboration between my lived experience and the possibilities of Artificial Intelligence:

  • The Prose: These chapters are "brain-dumped" from my journals and refined through Sudowrite and Gemini, ensuring the memories are as vivid on the page as they are in my mind.
  • The Visuals: The imagery you see is generated via Leonardo.ai, used to "photograph" scenes from 1967 that were never captured by a camera.
  • The Voice: For those who prefer to listen, each chapter is narrated by a digital clone of my voice via ElevenLabs, allowing me to "read" my story to you, even when I am not here.
  • The Music: The atmospheric overtures and themes are composed specifically for these moments, capturing the Scottish reels of my youth and the quiet piano of my present.

Join the Journey

This is not just a book; it is a living document. I publish in installments as I process the "draft pile" of my past. It is free to read and listen to, and I invite you to subscribe if you’d like to receive each new chapter as it is finished.

Thank you for being a witness to this story.

— James


How to use this on Ghost:

  1. In your Ghost Dashboard, go to Pages -> New Page.
  2. Title it "About" or "The Legacy."
  3. Paste the text above.
  4. Pro-Tip: Use the "Image Card" in Ghost to put a real photo of yourself at 71 next to a Leonardo-generated image of "Young James" from the Scotland years. It will powerfully illustrate the "Legacy" theme.

Life led by Madman is an independent publication launched in April 2026 by James. If you subscribe today, you'll get full access to the website as well as email newsletters about new content when it's available. Your subscription makes this site possible, and allows Life led by Madman to continue to exist. Thank you!

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